Zach and Miles (and I)
by L122yTorch
Summary: A day in the life of Chris Pine and his newly discovered revelations involving his friend, his coworker, his other half, Zachary Quinto.


Being with Zach, being around him, was always easy, it was always effortless. We know everything about each other, we're comfortable with one another.

But somewhere along the line, in between the interviews and filming and hanging out… something changed.

Zach started to visit me more frequently in dreams, and less frequently in reality. It really shouldn't surprise me, I know Zach had a social life, after all.

And…I do too right? Right?

I mean, there's no shortage of work throwing itself at me. But no matter how busy I keep, I always feel like something is missing. Except when I'm around Zach, then I don't feel like anything is missing.

When I'm around him, I stop overanalyzing my life, I stop obsessively introspecting. It's just he and I - bantering back and forth. But when I'm away from him, I get lost in myself all over again.

I miss him, all the time.

The familiar way we fit together when we hug, the way my stomach flips when our shoulders touch in an interview, the way Zach smirks whenever someone asks him about our chemistry.

His presence is palpable. Even when I'm doing an interview, even when I can't see him, I can feel him. His presence burns like the sun and I'm his loyal planet, forever destined to orbit, but never get too close.

He has Miles and I'm glad for him. Really, I am.

Any reality where Zach is happy, I'm happy.

Or so I thought.

On our most recent press tour for Trek 3, he brought Miles with him to an interview in New York.

Zach and I hugged one another, giving each other a few hearty slaps on the back. I'm sure I was gleaming, my face hurt from smiling so much. He looked perfect, in that sand brown suit jacket with his hair perfectly quaffed. It was only when he turned aside and put a hand around Myles' back that I noticed his presence.

We shook hands, I mean, we're friends, we've all hung out before. But this wasn't Zach's house, this wasn't a casual hang out, this was a Trek interview. This was Zach's and my thing. Our thing. Us. And now we had a third party.

I guess the hardest realization was the fact that Miles wasn't the third wheel - I was.

During the interview, we sat a little further apart than usual. Our shoulders didn't rub. The interviewer never asked us about our chemistry. Zach, that pompous asshole, was definitely winning this round of vocab, because the words just weren't forming in my head.

The lights overhead felt so goddamn hot. The soft suit I was wrapped up in suddenly felt like a confinement. I looked over at Zach and he was laughing. His Earth brown eyes had been swallowed up by the little crinkles that formed when he chuckled.

His bowstring lips were pulled taught in a hearty laugh, and his whole face lit up.

I think I stared at his lips a little too long. I do that sometimes.

I bit my bottom lip and then swiped my tongue against it to soothe the now irritated flesh. I chastised myself the second I did it because my publicist really gets on me for the whole "lip licking" thing.

I need a break.

I don't know when the interview is over, but it's not soon enough.

I want to go. I want air. I want to figure out when the hell this happened.

I was fine. I was fine with Zach's last boyfriend, but this one sure is sticking around a long time. Zach talks about Miles more seriously than his previous relationships. It must be serious.

My stomach lurches.

Why does this hurt so much? I just want him to be happy. I'm not even gay, although I was a bit bi in college, haha.

It's just that…I see him with Miles - dancing, eating, kissing, hugging, laughing - and I want it to be me. Little spikes of jealousy are slowly cutting holes in my wind pipe, I can feel my resolve crumbling.

I already know what the future looks like: I'll take time away from Zach, and replace the truth with excuses. I'm busy.

But separation doesn't fix it, it just makes the void more apparent. My bed feels colder, my date seems more lackluster, my life is spinning.

I tell the interviewer that I need a break. It's uncharacteristic of me, and Zach is already following me to the door with concern in his eyes.

"Look, I'm fine," I nearly snap.

A moment of silence passes.

I shake my head and bring a hand up to massage the back of my neck. "I just didn't get much sleep last night is all, give me a minute," I say as I turn from him and pick up a water bottle. He acquiesces with a nod and floats over to Miles.

They hug. Zach's large hands linger on Miles' shoulders, his gaze is warm and inviting. Again his lips purse into a smile as he and Miles talk softly.

I take a huge swig from the bottle. I don't want to leave the room entirely because it'll push the interview - and the day - off schedule. Plus, I don't want to be rude to the interviewer.

So I stay and I strain to hear their conversation but fail. I stay and I drink from my water bottle, taking a moment to glance over at the two lovebirds.

I wonder if I'll throw Zach a bachelor party. I wonder if I'll be Zach's best man at their wedding. I wonder if I'll continue to smile for the cameras as my life passes me by.

My azure gaze must not've been too discreet. Zach felt the weight of it. His eyes are on mine in an instant. And I look away too quickly.

Can he see it? Are my emotions apparent on my unguarded face? Jealousy, longing, confusion, love…pain.

Zach comes back over to me, but I brush my weirdness off with a smile and a pat on his back. "Let's get back to it," I say cheerfully.

We take our seats. The makeup lady fiddles with my face. The silence between us becomes a mountain.

For being as introspective as I am, I can't believe I missed it. I can't believe that I silently and steadily fell for Zach, and now that I know it, it's too damn late.

"And we're rolling in five…four…three…." the man behind the camera says.

Zach looks at me and smiles.


End file.
